Happy New Year, Everyone!

Phew, what a party that was! The Irish Scoop is glad to announce that it's survived the famed annual end of year bash at stately Scoop Manor and is ready to rock the joint for another year of sticking to to the man, cynical Irishman style! This year, we're going to have more fun than an IRA man robbing the Northern Bank -- ho ho, straight back in there with a topical joke! The first day back and already with the gold!

Now let's see, what's in today's paper...

Wait a minute. Is this the correct date? It's July already?! Oh dear, I've overslept again.

Worst. Hangover. Ever.